I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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