it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
