So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
