So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
