how hairy? two words: wookie tits
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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