Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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