see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Be still, my beating vagina.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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