Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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