Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
