Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
