I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
