help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
