Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
