Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Randomize
