I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
