I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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