Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
