He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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