you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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