nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
