I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
