I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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