fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
