How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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