I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
How external is "for external use only"?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
