i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
