There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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