are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Randomize
