New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I had to cum in my sink.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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