Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
