how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Randomize
