I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
