you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
