Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
