i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
