I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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