Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
