btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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