I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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