He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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