Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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