he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
