in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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