just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
