so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
My vagina just recognized that song.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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