That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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