is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
