i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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