I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
You had me at "let me see your balls"
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
