That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
