I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I wish life had little blips of pornography
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
