Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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