people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
