I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
